Hi Bridget,

I loved your book. Single and living in New York City as well I found your book to be so relatable and true! I've lived here for 3 years and have yet to find a good guy. There seriously is something with this city! I agree that men are always looking for something better or are too preoccupied with their jobs and/or themselves.

I don't think that I have really put myself out there enough but I am so sick of the bar scene and am running out of options. Sure a speed dating event is fun but I honestly doubt I would meet the man of my dreams there.

Just wanted to let you know that I totally relate to all your NY stories and am in your boat!

Hi Holly,

Thanks for sending a message.

You are certainly not alone! The one saving grace of New York, for all its crappy men, is that there are a lot of fab single women to hang out with.

Be happy—who knows who will be waiting for you round the next corner.

Bridgetx

Hi Bridget,

This question might sound a little bit desperate and depressing, but you said we should try to feel like we are not alone in all of this dating madness, so I guess sounding desperate and depressing is the least of my worries.

I just finished reading your book and I loved every minute of it! I am currently experiencing a break-up with someone that I thought was the love of my life. Very much like you and that guy Jack…so i guess my question is: what ever happened with you and that guy? I had always believed in true love, and all the fools who said it would conquer all, but then here I am dumped by the love of my life and he moved to Idaho (probably the most miserable state ever; at least that is what I am telling myself over the bottles of wine) :)!

So you guys broke up, and you ended your book sounding so hopeful and everything, and I think that is just what I need a little bit of hope…I am only in month two of my devastating break-up, so I am definitely in the still holding on phase, which I know I need to let go of, cause obviously if he dumped me he has let go and moved on…literally "moved."

So have things really worked out for you? Are you still thinking that you should get really excited about life? Cause I am hoping that since you seemed to have experienced this, that maybe you would have some words of wisdom or a really great drink to recommend to get me through the rough times!

Anyway, I love your writing, and I would love to hear your take on this! Thanks for lending an ear, or an eye since this is an email! ;)

Hi Stephani,

Do not feel alone! You are going through so many feelings we've all had, in fact so many women who write to me have the same question. They've just had their heart broken, or have broken up with someone they'd hoped was the love of their life and just can't imagine feeling postive or excited again about anyone—or anything.

As you could tell from my book, I guess it really took me over a year to move on from Jack—being stuck in the same office didn't exactly help so first thank your small mercies that your guy at least managed to take himself off to another state. Brutal as that is, that really will help you move on because he won't be around to torment you, so to speak.

I do believe that love will conquer all—the right love, but this guy clearly wasn't the love of your life, or he wouldn't have decided to leave. He probably was one of your great loves, and one day you will be able to look back fondly on the time you spent together. But I believe you can have more than one great love, and the best one will be the one that works out.

When I met Jack I was heart broken over Angus who I'd left to move to New York and really, really regretted not marrying. But finally when I got together with Jack I was glad that I hadn't stayed with Angus. Then two years after breaking up with Jack got together with the guy I am with now. Quite quickly I realised he might be the one I would spent the rest of my life with. We're still together, I moved in with him in January and we're extremely happy. There will be a piece of me which will always love Angus and Jack but now I know it was right that I didn't stay with them.

So what I'm saying to you is, however bleak you feel now, hang on to one grain of hope that you won't feel quite as bad in a couple of months time, and in a couple of months after that, hey, you might wake up and feel quite excited about going out and meeting new people. And one day, I can absolutely assure you you'll look back and smile at this email and feel
really happy with someone else and glad this guy left for Idaho.

To help you get to that stage as quickly as possible, I recommend being as tough with yourself as possible about "moving on." Try not to torment yourself with wondering what he's up to, who he's met, whether he's thinking about you, but think about your future and the fun things you can do now that you're single and the idea of a guy that might be some of the things that your ex wasn't.

I'm sure you'll be able to think of a couple. Meantime get drunk—a lot—I recommend tequilla shots with beer chaisers. Something that will give you a lift without the hang over from total hell. Letting go takes time so be easy on yourself, but if you take a tiny step towards it every day, you'll realise you have the rest of your pretty cool life in California ahead of you. And if there is one thing that really is true about life—you never do know what will be around the next corner.

Bridgetxxxx

Hi Bridget,

I was going away so I swung by a local bookstore and found your book. Once I started it, I couldn't stop.

From waiting in the airport throughout the entire flight I was hooked and just finished the book a little while ago. I cried and I related so much to you, and I just wanted to know if you are in a relationship now where you feel security; more so than you felt with Jack.

Thanks for writing the best memoir I have ever read…I am recommending this book to all my friends now!!

Hi Sara,

Thanks so much for you message.

So very happy you liked the book and glad those airplane journies are so good for the heartache!

I am with a fanatistic guy now, and truly I couldn't be happier. Jack was an amazing man and I'll always feel so much love for him, but I'm now with someone I'm much better suited to, and I'm sure he's with someone who can really make him happy as well.

All my friends joke that I was the love story that had a happy ending. But I believe we all do if we hang on and wait for it.

Bridgetxx

Hi there!

I recently just bought Tabloid Love from a local bookstore near my house. I've spent the past few days reading this book constantly and it's seriously one of the best books that I have read!

I have a "dating" question though and I'd love to see what your view point on the whole thing might be: I want to know what I should do if a boy tells me that he likes dating me alot but he doesn't want a relationship out of it, and that I could see other people if I come across them too. I really do like him, but I don't feel right about this.

Should I go on and keep dating him? Or should I just let this go and move on? (I'm eighteen and he's nineteen).

Hi Tia,

That's a tough one, and it's hard if you really like a guy to turn him down, but the key to a happy time with a guy is knowing that you both want the same thing.

Then you are equal partners in the relationship. If you're with him and secretly want more than him, it will make you feel insecure and needy, and undermine you as a person. If this guy wants to see other people as well as you, it's no bad reflection on you, it's probably because he's young and feels like he wants to have a lot of experiences. But this is all very well for him, but its sounds like you might really get hurt by it. However relaxed you are, you're not going to feel great if he's off with another girl, and frankly that's not something you should put up with. Really the best thing to do would be to move on, say you'd rather be friends, and start looking for someone who does want the same as you—a relationship.

At your age you're probably going to have a few boyfriends before you meet "The One"—so a good rule of thumb in all of it is to ask these questions: Is this guy kind? Does he make me feel good about myself? Do we want the same thing? If there's a nag of doubt over any of the above, then think about whether you should be with him.

Hope that helps,
Bridgetxx

Hi Bridget!

I'm an Irish girl working in New York and when I read Tabloid Love it really struck more chords with me than in your average symphony orchestra.

I recently had an awful date where the guy said the reason he asked me out in the first place was because I had "big tits" and went on to describe his ambitions of "owning" Wall Street. He relayed the whole "more women than men in NY" mantra and said because of this ratio, men didn't care about impressing women, that in this city, it was up to the women to impress the men.

He said while I was "cute and all" that I really should join a gym, and that possibly my Irish accent would put men off because they "wouldn't take the trouble to decipher my accent" (which incidently, is not exactly thick). What made me laugh most of all was that this guy was certainly no looker, and back home I would not have given him the time of day (oh, shallow me), but in NY, the goalposts moved and I forced myself to accept (most) dates with people I normally wouldn't, on the advice of a seasoned native who said even if they were not cute or suitable, maybe they have friends who are.

Anyway, the evening dragged on, he continued to pick holes in my apperance, and then he rapidly bundled me into a cab with the parting line "yeah, the chemistry isn't there is it?" That was the last I saw of him. I can't say I was surprised or annoyed. Just…confused!

Still, it's a character building adventure and when I return to Ireland in October to continue working there, I'll be a lot more appreciative of my countrymen, who seem a lot less judgemental and complicated, than the shower over here!

Hi Rebecca,

God that story makes me laugh!

Sometimes I wonder if I imagined half the crazy things that guys said to me on dates in New York—and also what I put up with!! So thanks for sharing your story with me.

You'll probably get hitched in no time when you get home, you'll be so grateful to be back. That's what happened to most of my girl friends who lived in New York and left.

You gotta love the place but the dates really are a shocker.

Bridgetxx